Monday, 31 July 2017

3 Proven Methods For Gaining Self Discipline

Learn from someone who got out of a rut and took action and saw change. What do you think?

10 Principles of Success by Christian Csatari

How do we define success? 

Webster’s dictionary defines success as “ the attainment of wealth, favor , or eminence.” I think we would agree that Webster’s definition is quite accurate in terms of how we look at people that we perceive to be “successful”.

I would like to expand on this thinking with the following 10 Principles of Success

1) Have a Dream- Create a vision for your future, no matter how big or outrageous your dream is.

2) Develop your Action Plan- Goal setting: Organize your thoughts and feelings on paper, when you do that they become more real. Tape these goals to bathroom mirror, or the refrigerator, somewhere

you will see them on a daily basis.

3) Control your Focus- In this day and age of “multi-tasking” you may find this principle hard to follow. However, you must remain focused on your goals if you hope to attain success. Don‘t let yourself get distracted.

4) Seek Guidance- Finding a mentor is of the utmost importance! Find someone you respect and would like to learn from. 

5) Practice Self-Discipline- There will be times when you will be tested, you need to stay on target, and re-focus on your goals.

6) Be Aggressive- I don’t know of any successful people that sat around and waited for things to just happen! You need to make things happen, take the initiative and Go For it.

7) Believe in Yourself- If you don’t who else will? Be confident in your abilities to turn things around when things don’t look so good. Your attitude is a little thing that can make a big difference.

8) Be a Pioneer- You will undoubtedly run into people who will tell you “it can’t be done” ignore
them, if you have an idea that has not been tried before work to make it a reality. Every great achievement was once considered impossible.

9) Learn to Budget- Put your time, energy and money behind your plan, but do not forget to budget time for you family! They are the reason for your success.

10) Love what you Do- No matter what, you must love what you do in order to live a richArticle Submission, healthy and successful life.


Friday, 28 July 2017

How To Define And Get YOUR Kind Of Success by Sarah Cooper

"Hey, I don't have all the answers. In life, to be honest, I failed as much as I have succeeded. But I love my wife. I love my life. And I wish you my kind of success".

So speaks Dicky Fox, mentor to sports agent Jerry Maguire in the film of that name. I've always loved that scene. There's something very reassuring about laid back, white haired grandfather figures who are truly (yet unsmug-ly) comfortable in their own skin. Role models for us all.

I've been mulling a lot about success recently. What is it, and how do you measure it? Typically, society measures success by how well you are doing financially. "I spoke to Auntie Gillian the other day and do you know, her son Ben - you remember Ben, you met him at Uncle Jim's funeral when you were 12, - anyway he has just been promoted and bought a lovely house just round the corner from your friend Annabel. He's doing so well" your mother burbles in your last phone call home.

Of course, Ben has been successful in financial terms, and that's important. We have to be financially responsible for ourselves and our families. But what about other, less tangible measures of success?

One of the questions I ask my clients in my welcome questionnaire is "What are the most important things you want for your life?" Right up there is "time with my family" or "a more balanced life." Yet how often do we really prioritise this? Most full time jobs these days extend well beyond the 9 to 5. We tell ourselves life is expensive so we need to hold down these kinds of jobs, work these sorts of hours. But do we? Perhaps if we had a smaller house, didn't always go abroad for vacations, got a second-hand car, we could afford to work fewer hours, or work at something less profitable but which offered us a richer and more meaningful lifestyle.

Who is more successful, the senior executive earning £100,000+ a year who sees their children on weekends (if they're not travelling), or the new business owner bringing in just a third of that - but choosing to work a 30 hour week on something they really love, and collecting the kids from school each day? I mention the business owner example, because one of the wonderful things about self-employment is the freedom it gives you to structure your life around your priorities.

Admittedly I've chosen a certain direction and I'm biased. I do however recognise that we each see life differently; one size doesn't fit all. So in defining your kind of success, I would simply urge you to listen to your heart. What do you want for your life? Don't just pay lip service to what you hear back. Follow up. Organise your life and work to allow you to enjoy what's important to you. That's success.


Monday, 24 July 2017

Don’t Settle For Less Than Your Personal Mission by JoAnna Carey

Success is not an easy concept to define. 

What does it take to be successful? How does success look? When should a person feel like a success? Once success is achieved, how can new goals be set without diminishing the value of one’s previous accomplishments? Can success ever be realized when time is finite and obligations seem endless? These
questions may be answered best with the following question, “Who is the person defining success?”

Take the initiative to define your own success by developing a personal mission statement. A personal mission statement is developed by focusing on the qualities that make you unique, such as, who you are, what you would like to do, your hopes, fears and wishes. It can be as ambitious or as simplistic as you desire, and it is ever-changing. 

What if you don’t feel confident enough to create a personal mission statement? Start with a group of goals you would like to accomplish over the next year. Keep experimenting until you find an idea that you believe you were meant to relentlessly pursue. Remember, it is your mission and it can change as you grow and excel; you are the only limit to what you can become.

Still having trouble defining personal success? Imagine that a genie were to grant you three wishes. If all you can come up with is, "I would like to be rich and thin," you haven’t taken enough time to know your true goals. Ask yourself
what you would DO if you were rich and thin and you will see a hint of your true mission. Now ask yourself if any of the things you named are things you can do right now and, if so, why do you choose not to follow through.

This is a very personal key. Measuring your standards on a bar set by others means permanently installing yourself on a treadmill of your own making. Have the courage to determine what you want out of life and make a promise to yourself that you will not settle for less than your vision of success.

I see this dilemma often among parents with young children. Some are stay-at -home moms who would really like to work at least part-time. Others are working at careers that leave them unsatisfied, when they would really prefer to spend more time with their children. And although we don’t often hear about this dilemma among fathers, there are a growing number of men who are sharing equally in the day-to-day activities of child rearing and would also like more flexible work schedules. Take the time to determine what is most important in your life and be honest with yourself as you identify a personal mission statement. 

When you take the time to know where you are headed, you will begin to see opportunities that will help you reach your goals. By honoring your vision of success, you'll be in the best position to take that next bold step toward personal fulfillment. Start with a few things you want to change, ideas you want to pursue, people you want to meet, or a new hobby you want to try. Then, when you see an opportunity that will help you reach your unique goals, embrace the challenge. Above allPsychology Articles, commit to keeping your life mission foremost in your mind because it will help you identify your aspirations and serve as a roadmap as you navigate the maze.


Friday, 21 July 2017

What Motivates us to be successful? By Alex Afriyie

Yesterday I was at my daughter's graduation. This was her masters degree. Of course as a father I am so proud of her. However she has struggled through many trials to get this qualification. I also met a young man James who said he had dropped out of education at aged 18 when both his grandparents died. However here he was at 28 receiving his social work degree and he had a job waiting for him. It made me ask the question - what motivates us to be successful?

1) Doing what we are passionate about - James told me he discovered his burning passion for Social work when he was working with children. He then decided to take it to the next level and get a Social work degree. 

2) Taking it to the next level - I see this same passion in my daughter who after finishing her first degree went on to do her masters in order to become qualified to help people through the medium of dance and psychotherapy. 

3) Recognising our skills and abilities - In both James and my daughter I can see that they recognised their natural abilities. In James case this was for working with children and in my daughters
case this was for working with people in need. They then combined their ability with their passion and looked for ways to enhance this through training.

4) Suffering - Sometimes the most motivating thing can be suffering. Things have been tough and we know the only thing that will get us out of this state is pushing forwards to reach our goals and dreams. By taking an action every day we eventually reach our goal. 'Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts' (Winston Churchill) 

5) Having a clear vision and end goal - For both James and my daughter they had a clear vision and end goal in mind and this motivated them to continue each day. True success is faithfulness to the vision, passion and abilities that God has placed in you.

What is your passion?
What gifts and abilities do you have?
How can you take these to the next level? 
What training do you need?
What suffering will motivate you to take action?
Write down a clear vision and end goal?
Then, step by step, day by day, just do it!

Les Brown: It's Up To You | Les Brown Motivation

Learn to get motivated and win with integrity in your life! It's possible!

Thursday, 20 July 2017

10 Signs Of Real Friends And How To Identify Fake Friends by Barrie Davenport

I deeply value the small circle of women in my life who are my closest friends, and I make a concerted effort to be a good friend to them.
Developing this amazing circle and becoming the kind of friend myself that I would like to have in others has taken a lot of time and energy.
It has taken years to realize exactly what I need in a friendship, how I want to relate to my friends, and how I want to feel when I'm around them.
In the past, I was not as mindful or intentional about my friendships. I focused more on trying to make myself fit into the friendship rather than finding friends who were a good match for me. I spent more effort than was reasonable trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.
I sure wish I'd had more insight into myself and my friendship needs earlier in life. Maybe I would have avoided some painful experiences. Age and emotional maturity have helped me
learn how to be a better friend and a better "friend picker."
Even so, I've learned so much from all of my friendships, including those that were difficult or ended badly. I'm grateful for all of them because they have enhanced my life and taught me valuable lessons.
Sometimes it's hard discern a true friend from one who is toxic, manipulative, or simply apathetic. It takes some time and life experience with a friend to learn whether or not they share your same friendship values.

If you have struggled with fake friends, here are some things you need to know.

Let's start by looking at ten qualities you will find in a real friend.
1. They are with you in good times and bad.
It's easy to be a friend when things are going well and life is easy.
But it's during the times when life is hard and things aren't going so well for you that you really need a friend.
A true friend doesn't disappear when the going gets rough.
When you are suffering through a divorce or break-up, struggling financially, or dealing with a health challenge, a real friend will be right by your side, offering a listening ear and loving support.
2. They want you to succeed and be happy.
Have you ever had a friend who seems jealous or dismissive of your success or happiness?
Maybe you've found a new romantic partner, and you're wildly happy. But your friend doesn't share your enthusiasm and finds a way to make passive remarks that are critical and hurtful.
Or you've had a recent promotion at work, but your friend diminishes your achievements by ignoring them or putting you down for bragging.
A real friend is authentically happy when you are happy and successful. He or she celebrates with you and is proud of you.
If there is a twinge of jealousy or envy about your good fortune, a real friend makes an effort to keep those feelings from spoiling your joy.
3. They are quick to forgive and forget.
We all say or do things with our friends from time to time that can be thoughtless or hurtful. Maybe we forget to call as promised or make a remark that is less than kind.
Some friends can't seem to let these things go, even after a sincere apology is offered. They frequently bring up the offense and use it as a weapon to hurt you or make you feel bad.
Maybe they try to use it as leverage to gain the “upper hand” in the friendship and
manipulate you.
A real friend is quick to accept your apology and willing to move on without dousing you with guilt or shaming. A real friend wants to heal the connection, especially when you have apologized sincerely.
4. They respect your opinions, even if they don't share them.
In the past year, I've observed how the political climate has torn apart the friendships of some people around me. One or both people are so entrenched in their beliefs that they can no longer talk civilly with each other.
You may have had friends yourself who want to impose their beliefs or opinions on you. If you don't agree with them, they get angry, frustrated, or critical.
A true friend is able to rise above a difference of opinion in order to preserve the friendship. They are willing to listen and respond respectfully without making personal judgments or attacks.
5. They listen and show interest in you.
Some friends seem oblivious to your moods or state of mind. If you talk about something that's bothering you, they deflect the conversation to themselves or something unrelated.
They seem too distracted, disinterested, or self-involved to take the time to listen empathically and really understand you.
A real friend wants to go beyond superficial conversation and meaningless chit chat. They invest the time to listen attentively and become more engaged in your inner life.
They care about who you are and want to know you on a deeper level.
6. They make an equal effort to connect.
Are you often the one in a friendship who is always initiating?
You always make the call to plan a dinner or outing. You make yourself available to your friend, but your friend doesn't prioritize you the same way.
This uneven balance of effort in the friendship is draining and frustrating. Over time, it makes you feel disrespected and unloved by your friend.
A real friend invests equal time and energy into maintaining the relationship. He or she initiates plans, reaches out to talk, and shows a similar willingness to prioritize the friendship.
7. They love you in spite of your flaws.
We all have our little quirks and flaws. Maybe we talk too much, laugh too loudly, or sing off key.
Some friends latch on to these flaws and try to embarrass or shame us about them. Or they seem irritated or embarrassed, believing our quirks reflect poorly on them.
A friend who truly cares about you can overlook these flaws, knowing that they don't represent the entirety of who you are. They love and care for the real you and can accept that we all come with baggage and blemishes.
8. They are loyal and trustworthy.
There's nothing worse than a friend who breaks your trust. They gossip about you, sharing your personal information or confidences when you've asked them not to.
They don't stand up for you in front of others, or they fail to follow through on promises or commitments.
A real friendship must be grounded in trust and loyalty. You need to have faith that your friend will never betray your trust, talk behind your back, or diminish you in front of others.
9. They are non-judgmental.
We've all done stupid things or made poor decisions in life, and the last thing we need during these times are friends who say, “I told you so,” or who remind us how stupid we've been.
A real friend has a way of helping us through these times without shame or judgment. They will give us a hug, help us get back on solid footing, and laugh with us about it when it's all over.
They know our true essence and have faith in us that we will get back on track and do better next time.
10. They are fun to be around.
Have you had those friends who are draining to be around? They complain frequently, never seem excited about anything, and always seem to spoil the good mood of everyone around them.
Some people aren't happy until they infect everyone else with their sour mood or unpleasant
attitude. They enjoy stirring the pot and creating conflict.
A real friend lifts you up and wants to enjoy life with you. This friend generally has a positive attitude, is quick to laugh, and makes you feel good just to be around him or her.
What are the signs of a fake friend?
Sometimes it's hard to know if a new friend is real or fake.
This person initially might be caring and attentive, only to show their true colors once you are engaged in the friendship.
If you are highly sensitive or a people pleaser, you might be vulnerable to the kind of friend who takes advantage of you or manipulates you.
You might confuse their passive aggressive behaviors as signs that you need to step up and give more.
Here are 20 behaviors of a fake friend that you need to be aware of:
1. They tend to disappear when you need them most.
2. They frequently gossip about other friends to you (so they likely gossip about you as well).
3. They try to make you feel guilty or use passive aggressive behaviors when things don't go their way.
4. They have a hard time being happy for your successes and achievements.
5. They are disinterested in getting to know you on a deeper level.
6. They put you down for your opinions or beliefs.
7. They judge your flaws and mistakes harshly.
8. They rarely initiate get-togethers or calls to connect.
9. They always turn the conversation back to themselves.
10. They never stand up for you in front of others.
11. They frequently break promises or “forget” commitments.
12. They have a heightened sense of self-importance and entitlement.
13. They use back-handed compliments to confuse and wound you.
14. They say things to embarrass or shame you in front of others.
15. They call you only when it appears they have nothing better to do.
16. They are quick to take offense or get angry with you.
17. They hold your past mistakes over you and won't let them go.
18. They infect you and everyone else with their bad mood or ill temper.
19. They forget the important things going on in your life.
20. They can easily drop you as a friend when it suits them.
Often these fake friends are selfish, immature, or unenlightened people who haven't learned emotional intelligence and don't understand what it takes to be a good friend.
Sometimes people grow and become more self-aware with age and maturity, and you may find a fake friend can evolve into a true friend over time.
In the meantime, it's important that you protect your emotional well-being by creating boundaries around these friendships or by stepping away from them completely.
If you find your friend is causing too much unhappiness and draining your emotional energy, then you may need to take a break and seek out other people who are more like-minded and willing to invest in a real friendship.
Like any good relationship, a solid friendship requires effort and commitment from both people. You deserve the kind of friend you want to be to others.

Wednesday, 19 July 2017

This Is Why Most People Spend Their Whole Life Waiting for Better Timing by Leon Ho

Imagine a life without any deadlines.

How relaxing would that be? No looming credit card payments. No stressful all-nighters to finish that project at work or school. No procrastination, even! Without a deadline, no one cares if you don’t get to it. You’ll always have the time later on.
It feels so great to not have that stressful moment, right around the corner. When a deadline goes away, a huge weight lifts off my shoulders. In high school, my teachers occasionally gave us extensions on our due dates and everyone responded with a huge sigh of relief.

But imagine, for a moment, what life would be like if an average person had no deadlines for their entire life.
An average person lives for 79 years. The first 1-2 years of anyone’s life is spent as a baby, so let’s make the conscious years of an average person as 77.
So an average person has 77 years = 28,105 days = 674,520 hours.

Let’s assume that around half of that time is spent sleeping, eating, and for general hygiene. We’re now left with 337,260 hours where you could really work toward something.
Let’s say you’re thirty. In that case, about 122,640 of those working hours have already gone by.

I’m not trying to be morbid by pointing out these numbers. But think about this. If this hypothetical, average person has never known the pressure of deadlines, they probably wasted most of those 122,640 hours doing nothing.

Maybe this scenario isn’t so hypothetical. I have a close friend from college who loves cooking. He has a talent for it, and he’s wanted to have his own restaurant ever since he was just a little kid.
I first heard about his dream of opening his own restaurant when we were both in our early twenties. It surprised me at first because he was so practical. He was headed into the finance world and had
part-time jobs to support himself. But when we were just hanging out, he’d constantly talk about his real dream: the kinds of dishes he’d make, the details of the restaurant design, and the uniforms for the staff. He had such a clear vision of what he wanted.

A few years out of college I met him again. I told him how I’d just built my own website and that I was working on improving the site content. And then I asked him how he was doing with the restaurant business.

That was when he really surprised me. He told me he was still dreaming about it, but had been really busy with work. He had demanding customers, who gave him no time to think about what he truly wanted.

We parted ways then, and I didn’t seen him for quite a few years. Last month, I ran into him again and asked, again, how he was doing. He said that he’d taken a different job, one that’s even tougher than the last one. Again, he’s put his restaurant dream on hold.

I told him, “I really want to try out your restaurant soon.” And I meant it. I know that he has the talent to open a truly exceptional restaurant.

But here’s the thing. My friend allowed his dream to remain just a dream. He never put the pressure on himself to turn that dream into reality. Despite their downsides, deadlines have the power to clarify
your priorities. They force you to look clearly at what you want, and how to make it happen.

I’ve always set personal deadlines because I want to make sure that what I want, happens. By setting deadlines for yourself, you know what you should or shouldn’t do at any particular moment in order to reach your goals.

Setting deadlines can be applied to different kinds of projects. If you want to get a new car, don’t just think about saving more, make a deadline for yourself with some clear goals — “I will save $10,000 in 5 months.” Then, set out to make a to-do list for what to do in those 5 months:

  • Save 20% of salary each month for the new car.
  • Bring own lunch to work instead of eating out.
  • Find and buy the cheapest gas.
  • Pay for all transactions with cash only — so it feels like all the transactions are really tangible, unlike just swiping a credit card.

At the same time, there are things to avoid during those months, and so there should be a “distraction list” for things that would take away from the car-savings goal:

  • No new video games.
  • No new clothes.
  • Avoid going out with friends and spending too much money on food and drink.

Set a deadline for everything you care about. Then list out what you have to do (and what you shouldn’t do!) within a period of time. And you’ll achieve what you want, every time.
What’s the thing you’ve always wanted to do? Set a deadline to get it now.


Saturday, 15 July 2017

7 Ways to Help Yourself (and Others) Be Successful

We’re better working together.
SUCCESS Staff  July 11, 2017

1. Give back.
There is an astute knowingness in understanding that we all have a limited perspective or lens. I have one, you have one and everyone who walks this earth has a limited perspective. And for a great many years, we as a collective have convinced ourselves that our differences are a hindrance, when in reality our differences are the very thing that makes each of us uniquely talented in ways other people are not. When we honor these differences and celebrate them for their uniqueness, we open up an entirely new kaleidoscope of possibilities we might not otherwise be able to see.

If everyone asked, “How can I help?” as opposed to “What can I
get?” we would start to see a much different world take shape around us.

The universe aligns its bounty for a generous heart. We must take that first step toward serving the greater good. This is the greatest act of service we can offer. When we elevate one, we elevate all, and soon all of our common interests are met. Only then can we begin to transform the world. It is only then the better world we dream of becomes a reality.

It’s up to us to offer a helping hand to those struggling to climb the ladder. We stand on each other’s shoulders to elevate us to our ultimate accomplishments. This is a testament to a new tomorrow. We must clasp each other’s hands and take that first step together. It’s a step that every person, organization or institution can take together—if only we change our lens from competition to cooperation. From receiving to giving.

2. Surround yourself with people smarter than you.
Regardless of all your hard work, unique talent, good timing or good luck, success is largely a factor of the people you make a part of your journey.

When you first start, you pursue like-minded people in your social circle. But things change. You mature. Your circle widens as your interests shift from social to professional. Although you are initially drawn to people like yourself, now you start to gravitate to people
who can offer alternative perspectives—the more unrelated and diverse the individuals, the more opportunity to fill in the gaps of your limited experience, which lowers your risk.

You must network, pay attention and seek out people who not only know more but are willing to challenge and push you. Because few things are as important as gaining new perspectives. It’s easy to get lost in your ideas. Alternate perspectives can eliminate the blind spots and bring you down from the clouds.

3. Find a mentor.
Mentorship is a service. How can you help this person? You need to care more about their goals than you care about your own. Actually, your number one goal is to help them with their goals.

Under promise and over perform. When you get an assignment, blow them away. Do more than expected. Make their life as easy as possible. Get them excited to work with you more.

Never stop seeking help from those who are where you want to be. At the same time, don’t neglect those who could use your help.

Never let a goal become more important than helping people. Help others generously, abundantly. Help others without expectation of a return favor. Serving others will turn you into a mentor yourself. And you will always find more joy in helping others succeed than in achieving your own success.

4. Be an influencer.
Influencers focus on helping one another without expecting anything in return. They give and balance with their own self-interests to make giving a win-win for all parties. Adam Grant, author of the best-selling book Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Your Success, told me that “givers are not just philanthropists or volunteers… but people who enjoy helping
others and often do it with no strings attached.” Grant explains that givers have the greatest opportunity to both succeed and fail in business because givers can often be taken advantage of, but the most successful givers thrive when they have their own self-interests aligned with giving.

5. Celebrate others’ success.
What does it mean to be just as happy for the success of others as for our own? It’s a matter of attitude. Adopting a praising and loving attitude will help you bask in the success of those you know and with whom you feel a personal connection. This might be difficult at times, but it’s a great way to help us lead more positive lives and get more in return.

By being courageous and selfless enough to embrace others’ success, we get the benefit of greater satisfaction. We feel fulfilled instead of bitter. For example, your best friend gets a job offer at a great company and you don’t know how to feel. You might feel happy but conflicted, especially if you feel less successful at the moment. But having the courage to celebrate your friend’s success as your own can lead to personal satisfaction when you think, OK, I now know someone who works at X company! Your inner circle of affiliations and acquaintances grows, and you can feel appropriately satisfied by that.

Not only does your inner circle of affiliations grow with others’ success, but you can also potentially find personal success. For example, say your best friend’s company is advertising for other positions. Now you have an internal referral that might benefit your own career should you desire working with the same company.

Beyond seizing an available opportunity where possible, our sense of embracing others’ achievements helps to expand our own willpower. American football player and coach Vince Lombardi said, “The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, nor a lack of knowledge, but a lack of will.” Our own will can be awakened, in turn, when we see the success of others.

6. Spread positivity.
In director Christopher Nolan’s film Inception, Leonardo DiCaprio plays a man named Cobb who uses futuristic military technology to steal people’s corporate secrets by digging into their subconscious while they sleep. Then a secretive entrepreneur named Saito hires Cobb to do something a little different: plant an idea—inception—instead of stealing one.

For inception to be successful, the idea that Cobb plants has to be simple, emotional and positive. As he explains to his team, “The subconscious is motivated by emotion, right? Not reason. We need to find a way to translate this into an emotional concept…. Positive
emotion trumps negative emotion every time.” For Cobb, positive realities are much easier to transfer to others than negative ones because they create lasting change.

Out of the fantasy world and into the world of neuroscience and positive psychology, the research supports Cobb’s claim. Over the past several years, researchers have been investigating how perceptions and mindsets can be transferred to others. And as it turns out, the three best strategies for transferring positive genius to others are not that different from the ones Cobb employed. (See what they are here.)

7. Find your motivation.
Successful people don’t become that way overnight. What most people see at a glance—happiness, wealth, a great career, purpose—is the result of hard work and hustle over time.

To be successful, you have to use each day as an opportunity to improve, to be better, to get a little bit closer to your goals. It might sound like a lot of work—and with a busy schedule, next to impossible. But the best part is, the more you accomplish, the more you’ll want to do, the higher you’ll want to reach. So as long as you have the hunger for success, you will always have the power within you to achieve it.

Use your ambition, drive and desire to make it happen.